Sarah Vella-Labrador

The Sage Sun

3 Reasons it's Okay to Roll on Your Own

Today after I got out of a writing workshop I went to go get some delicious Pad Thai from a local joint. While I was munching down on tofu alone I couldn’t help but over hear a group of girls sitting near me giving each other resolutions, personalized to each girl. Their resolutions reminded me of goals that I had set for myself freshmen year after I dipped my toes in the college culture. I know a few gal pals that shared these same resolutions too.

Without going into too much detail these girls assigned each other the following resolutions:

1.     Say what you feel, don’t go back and forth saying yeah its cool, instead of giving real feedback when people ask you things. Go on instinct.

2.     Be okay with being single. I know I am just another 20 something that doesn’t know everything there is in cupid’s book but I think in order to be okay with being single you have to be on great terms with yourself first. Know what you want for yourself (short term and long term goals) how you want to grow this year. Most importantly I think a key to being happily single is having self esteem. Love yourself because you are an amazing being, and no matter your relationship status you need to know this for yourself.

3.     Enjoy the moment. Embrace the moment because as you know we won't get this moment ever again. I once heard an amazing opening line of copy from a Pure Michigan ad, it opened with something along the lines of, “humans only have 25,000 mornings. Use them wisely”.  Savor those precious moments whether it’s your senior year of college or your 10th week in at a new job. The day doesn’t have to be marked with a special occasion to savor the day.


With all this chit chat going on behind me I did miss my girls, my best friends from home that I rarely get to see. But it reminded me of a beautiful phase I have entered in my life. The “Its okay to roll on your own for a bit” phase.

Now when I say that I don’t mean I don’t talk to anyone, or go out for food or a fun evening with anyone. I still do that, but I spend a lot of quality time alone with myself working on my stuff for school and setting and achieving my personal goals. And when I find myself dipping back into the girl world and socializing a ton I find that the goals mentioned above still exist a few years later.


3 Reasons it’s Okay to Roll on Your Own

1.     You refine your opinion. When your not surrounded by people all the time hearing their reaction to things you say you develop a stronger opinion. You’re not being judged, nor are you worried about what people might say before you say things.

2.     You have more quiet time to reflect and relax. This mindful thinking that exists in quiet time helps you identify what you really want and how to get there. You also have more time to focus on fun goals you may have set, like learning a new language, or blogging, learning to cook, or pick up a book you have been meaning to read.

3.     Make new friends. By not hanging out with the same crowd all the time you have the chance to make some new friends too, acquaintances, or new people to add to your best friend circle. This is great for networking and changing your routine and conversations up a bit. It also puts your social skills back to work as you have to remember how to interact with new people in the very beginning phases of friendship. P.S. This helps develop that self esteem I mentioned above in the single section.

In the past these goals have been something I aspired to fulfill, but, now after spending time with myself and working on my grind for sometime it is crazy to hear thats these seniors have the same goals I did freshmen year. I decided I want to set more personal goals for myself, I did so by breaking away from the pack for a bit. I find this time to be very essential to my personal growth and the road to success. 

Sarah Vella-Labrador